In Celebration of Friends

The summer that I turned 12, my family sold our house, packed up all of our earthly possessions to move us from our quaint suburban Southern California neighborhood to the East Coast. The state of Maine would be our home for two years and four days. Although I have never returned, somehow I have never let go of the beauty. In reality, it just never let go of me.

My family decided to make a big deal over my 50th birthday this year. After all, it is my Jubilee Year. It's a time to reflect, seek the goodness in life, allow debts to be cleared or to just reset. Although I would have loved to take a trip across the country, I wanted to spend it with those who are in my life right now, speaking into my life at present or the not too distant past. Folks I call family. I wanted to honor them in a small way. Our party would be for them to enjoy a night where they could laugh and relax on a magical summer evening. After reading this on my friend Carolyn's blog, I knew I wanted a Clambake! As close to a genuine East Coast clambake as I could get!

The tables were set with plates

we found at the dollar tree

Places were assigned

The Hors d'oeuvre table was filled

Finishing touches were added

Dear friends worked especially hard

Food was prepared

My dad and brother flew in

My daughter was a bright and cheery hostess

the guests laughed

they snacked on

grapes and brie and crackers,

then they laughed some more.

Mr. Ray visited with Grandpa

Party goers wrote messages

and then it was time

Elvis sang from my iPod perched in the

lighted tent.

"Clambake, gonna have a clambake!"

We gathered, The Coffee Guy prayed

and then...

...we ate this

We dished up some of that
along with an old family recipe
Acini De Pepe Salad

We ate shrimp and corn with our hands,

picked meat out of the clams

and filled up with potatoes and sausage

The air was full of celebration, love,

laughter, relaxation, peace, grace

We finished with Homemade Peach Blueberry Cobbler 

and

S'mores around the firepit late into the night

It was everything I had hoped it would be and so much more. As the last friends made their way home, I basked in the beauty of the evening. Pointing to the kitchen on our way to bed I told The Coffee Guy, "leave that for me". "Are you sure?" he asked. "Yes" I told him. We usually do that task together after having company. We always enjoy talking about the night, elbow to elbow with suds covering our hands.

This time I needed to do it alone.

The next morning I washed every plate, thanking God for each person that enjoyed the feast. Praying blessings over all of them for taking time to celebrate. All the while, praising our Provider for the gift of food, a home and dear friends who love so freely. I was of course bursting with joy over my brother flying up to surprise me! (He turned 55 the week before.) Gratitude poured over me for fifty years of a rich, beautiful life and knowing the possibilities of what He will continue to do in me.

This year has already held so much for me. I'm looking forward to seeing what our gracious God has in store. Turning fifty doesn't feel anything like you might expect, really, it is so much more.

Always,

Hope

*All photos courtesy of Sheila Nielsen Photography. Please do not use without permission.

I Don't Always Say the Right Thing

A Box of Hope

I'll let you all in on a little secret.

I don't always say the right thing.


There, I admitted it. *wipes sweat off brow*

I try, I really really try but the truth is, I sometimes let my emotions lead. It is usually a bad idea but it happens. I say things or right write things or Tweet things that I wish I hadn't. Sometimes I use the delete button and other times I just let my cringeworthy comments hang out there for all the world to see.

That is a big deal for me.

You see, growing up I often heard that I should just "be myself". While trying to "be myself" there were always messages around me about how "girls should act" and how "Christians should act" and how "someone your age" should act. The problem is, with all the mixed messages bombarding me,  it took a lot longer for me to find out who that was. I am still not sure that I know exactly who I am but I'm really ok with that.

I am free! I am released to figure it out. I'm still young and as far as I know healthy so I will continue to make it an adventure!

That makes me giddy. It fills me with joy! It even makes me really really happy!

So for now, I'll keep resting in whose I am. I'll be determined to walk in the spirit and rest in the Love of the One who loves me most! Thanks for coming along with me.

Always,

Hope

50 Days to 50 - The Ability to Laugh at Mistakes

Day 22 But Who's Counting?

If you have read this blog for more than two weeks you probably know that I count among my most beautiful blessings, grace.

Grace covers. Grace moves me. Grace heals. Grace restores. 

When I allow grace to flow through me, it cleanses.

It brings joy to let me laugh at my mistakes.

The grace of God is moving me in ways I don't understand.

I am just going to let it. When an opportunity comes to receive it, I will. When I need to extend it to another, I will purpose to.

Because God is my focus and God is love and love lives in grace I will seek to trust God with who I am.

Always,

Hope

(NOTE: This is my Jubilee year. Scripture speaks of this year as a time for restoration and debts to be cancelled. I see it as a time to reflect and to count my blessings. Knowing how precious life is and how miraculous it is, I want to write about His goodness.)

Memories Worth Keeping

It amazes how sights and smells can bring you back to places in your life as if you are still there. Its as if you are able to relive a time that slipped through your fingers all too quickly. The delights of summer with the feeling of warmth on my skin to the changing of schedules and pulling out shortened pants with sleeveless tops cause me to reminisce. 
When I was just a child, vacations meant new short outfits with sandals. Visiting relatives where the uncles were always funny, the aunts loved us completely and the cousins took us on adventures to a land so different from our Southern California roots.

My Mom and Myself in Arizona
at my Uncle Ivan's house

As a teen, we traveled less as my older brothers had jobs. Summer began to mean trips to the beach with friends. A mix of cocoa butter, salty air and leftover fires from the night before hung in the air. The sounds of the ocean mixed with our favorite music while laying on bright towels in the warm sand.
A couple of weeks ago, I was subbing in the preschool class at our high school early childhood center. As I looked out the gate from the playground to the quad area, I flashed to a moment just two years ago that triggered a thousand memories packed into my heart. This was the place where hundreds of parents were sorting through the sea of black caps and gown, searching for their child who had just crossed a threshold in life. My Ray had just graduated. We hadn't set up an exact meeting location, I had her lei (they aren't allowed to wear them during the ceremony) and more then anything I knew I was about to burst. It still gets me giddy to see this.

Right after I found her!

As I stood there, peering through the gates, I could almost hear the excited crowd again. The laughs, the cameras and the squeals as graduates were located. It was as if I was having a dream within a dream. Along with those memories came the ones that have made up her life so far. Those moments that have formed her, grown her up. They have become her just like my experiences have shaped me.

This year I will turn 50 years old. It is nothing like I imagined 20 or even 10 years ago. I don't feel old. I feel blessed. I am rich in the grace of God's love. I will have a half century of experiences that include 50 summers, 20 as a mom, a few more than that as a wife. I plan to recall many warm memories as well a create many more. I am thankful. I am at peace. I am ready to celebrate.

Always,




Hope

The Year of Lasts

As parents we spend a lot of time photographing, journaling and videotaping our children's firsts. First steps, first words, first spinach, first dayS of school, first dateS, first jobS are all celebrated with victorious applause. This year, our Ray of Sunshyne is celebrating a year of "lasts".


Last first day of school,

last high school drama performance,

last marching band half time show,

and this morning, sending her on her last choir tour (at 6:45 a.m.!).

This is far from the end of our "lasts". In the very near future, we have the last prom, last day of school, last day living at home and more. Some lasts we anticipate while some aren't noticed until long after the fact.

All of this of course is bittersweet. This is what we hope for our children. We hope they will get to grow up, become responsible adults and move on into the world. I am keenly aware that far too many families have children that will not experience this for one reason or another but the majority will. Many will realize too late that those years ahead were much shorter than we thought. Anything we might have put off has passed us by.

Today's encouragement is this, whatever place you are at in your life today, savor it. Like my friend Sarah, savor the morning routine. Justin and Victoria know that although the firsts are taking their time getting here, every day is to be celebrated. Then there is my friend Abbie who along with her husband, just added their fourth child to the family but takes time every day to tackle the small things. My reading list of blogs is filled with women who inspire me, bless me and remind me again of how precious every moment is. I in turn (being the "older woman") hope to inspire the younger women as well to take those moments I took for granted over the last 18+ years and capture them. Take mental photographs, images that are for no one but yourself. Life turns on a dime and today really is all we have. This moment is all we truly get to hold on to and even then it really is only a moment.

Thanks for indulging me today. It is my time of life to get reflective, misty eyed and downright emotional. I am blessed beyond measure with this life I've been given. It is not without pain, trials or regrets but its full of purpose, joy and peace.

Always,

Hope

Milestones

This has been a year of milestones for our family. In August, the Coffee Guy turned 50, in September the Princess celebrated her 10th birthday, October was our 20th wedding anniversary and today, my Ray of Sunshyn turns 18.
It seems completely unbelievable how fast the time has sped by.
Considering all of the things I had hoped to teach her, wondering if I missed anything and being thankful that God closes those gaps.
She is a beautiful young woman whose compassion runs deep. She is still figuring out where she fits in a church family but desires to be part of one that has solid teaching. She cooked a good portion of our Christmas meals and helped in all of the other preparations.
We are blessed.

Always,

Hope