Home usually means a warm, comfortable place to reside. Sometimes home is skewed by the memories of trauma or emotional chaos. Regardless of where we came from, we all have a vision of what home should be like. We all need a healthy home where we can feel welcome, be fed, get rest and be safe in every way.
A church home is no different. Once we find a place that we consider "home", there is nothing like being able to settle in and be part of the family. Those who have had difficult experiences in a church home often find it less than appealing to search for another. We have been so blessed to have settled into a new home in the past year.
We were part of the same church family for 11 years before planting a church in a nearby rural town. After four years we appointed a another pastor and returned to our original fellowship. The concept of "you can't go home again" had never hit me harder than it did at that time. Try as we might, we never fit in upon our return. It was a lonely, painful struggle to settle in and find our place in the family. When it became obvious that we needed to move on, we left completely and spent a year healing. We visited a couple of local churches but didn't find any we could call home.
That changed right after Christmas when the Coffee Guy sat me down and said he was ready to get serious about being back in church. We had done a bit of searching here and there over the past few years with no clear answer. We tried a place the first Sunday in January and although we felt welcome, our second visit confirmed that we needed to keep looking.
The next place we went was a chore to keep my heart in the right place. The sound was cranked up, someone I knew stuck her arm straight out and said "I am NOT hugging, I have a cold!". Then I saw a woman whom I had taken up an offense against in my heart. I kept threatening to slip out but stuck with it. By the time we got to the end of the service, I had softened and decided to give this place another chance. After a few weeks we decided to try the "newcomers lunch". On the way out of the lunch the pastor stopped us and invited us to sit back and rest but not for too long because they had plenty of people for us to minister to. We were home.
If you are in search of a spiritual home, let me encourage you to not lose heart. Every follower of Christ has a place where they belong. Sometimes that place will seem peaceful and other times there will be strife amongst family members. Afterall, what family doesn't have things to work on that will help them grow?
Always,
Hope
I find it fascinating that even though Jesus performed miracles in front of the disciples, they were still astonished when He rescued them from trouble. What also moved me was the fact that when He made use of the 5 loaves and 2 fish to feed the masses, He had drawn away to mourn the beheading of His cousin, John the Baptist (Matthew 14).
There are times when I used to find myself paralyzed by sadness. It covers me like a dark cloak as the depression weighs in on me. My early adult years were plagued with emotional turmoil both self induced and the heaviness that life sometimes brings. At the age of 19 one of my closest friends was in a car accident, her husband of six months was killed and she suffered severe brain damage. A year later, I entered an emotionally abusive relationship just to escape the pain of loss from the accident. My downward spiral had begun. Somewhere between then and now my ability to cope with emotional pain has changed drastically. This was one of those miracles that took time.
In the above passage, after the disciples were rescued in their boat from a rain storm, Jesus honors Peters request to allow him to walk on the water with Him. As soon as Peter takes His eyes off of Jesus he starts to sink. Jesus responds, (vs 31 NIV) "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" As they climbed in the boat, the disciples responded by worshiping their Lord.
That's the way its been for me. When I begin to look around at the storms in my life I sink. Sometimes its a slow descent and at other times I am flailing all the way down. The most important thing to note is that when I return my eyes to His loving gaze, He gently pulls me to safety. He rescues me from myself. That doesn't mean that He takes away my circumstances. It means that He strengthens me while I am in them.
In Matthew 17 He tells us that even with the tiniest bit of faith, we can command mountains to be tossed in the sea. How many times He has delivered me from the mountains of grief, fear, doubt and pride. The number of mountains He has moved in my life is countless. I firmly believe that He has also allowed me to walk over some of those mountains. In Psalms 23 He tells me that He walks through the valleys with me as well.
This year was in many ways a valley year. It started off that way. My mother ended her 11 year battle with Parkinson's Disease the first week of January. There are days that I miss her so much I can barely breathe. This was followed by employment turmoil as the Coffee Guy worked 800 miles away this summer due to the local job drought. I felt myself sinking on more than one occasion only to feel that gentle hand lifting me back up, ready to move forward.
What mountains are you facing today? Bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt, pride, fear and doubt are just a few of the mountains I can think of that keep us from moving forward. Are you willing to allow Him to move it for you? You don't have to be a giant of faith (I am certainly not). You need only turn your eyes toward Him believing.
Always,
Hope
Reese Renee is one of those sweet gifts that I refer to as a blessing in disguise, (although it was never hidden from those who knew her). A miracle in her own right and a true angel, which you might know literally means "messenger from Heaven". God used this little girl to turn my heart back to Him, to learn to trust Him more deeply and to return to my first love. On her first birthday, after celebrating a miraculous year, she returned safely back into the arms of her Creator and Lord Jesus Christ. Here on earth we will probably never know the reason, we won't have the answers but we can have hope.
I began following Reese's Story when she was around 7 months old. She was born with the same syndrome as the Princess. Her anomalies created health issues that were far more severe than our little one has had to endure.
Each family has their own way of facing the pain that comes with raising a child with special needs. Reese's parents are no different. Ashley and Todd chronicled Reese's life in an online blog in order to keep family and friends up to date on the latest news in their family. It was this simple vehicle that has allowed many to be touched by Reese and in turn, experience the touch of a loving, caring God.
At the time I found them, I was discouraged. The wife of a former pastor who had no church home. A woman losing hope in the things of faith and especially people who were suppose to help advance the kingdom. I was so parched I was unable to take in the Living Water. I felt that every attempt resulted in a run off with nothing ever soaking in. Then I found her. As I read their updates, their prayers and thoughts began to gently, quietly lead me back towards my loving God. My Savior that has a plan for every life, even mine.
Its been over a year since Reese passed from this earth. In that time, we have found a church home, a new purpose and have begun ministering to others again. I was able to face the sadness with His grace and strength when my own dear Mother left us in January.
The lesson that sticks out for today is that we need to live out our faith in a prayerful, honest path. If we focus on Jesus Christ and our relationship with Him, we can trust that He will use us as a blessing in ways that we never could on our own. Even better than that, He will use us to change lives in way we could never imagine.
Always,
Hope
Some may find it odd that I enjoy a good rain storm. Add some lightning, crashing thunder and you'll find me on the porch in my rocking chair taking in the sounds, smells and rich colors in the sky. Like anyone, if it happened all the time I would grow weary.
Life's happenings are not unlike our crazy weather. Sometimes you have warning. You know its coming so you hunker down in your prepared shelter. Others are like the earthquakes I grew up with. Out of nowhere, your whole foundation shakes moving things around sometimes causing damage that can range from a few broken items to complete disaster, even loss of life. On the news you hear stories of brides whose weddings were changed dramatically due to some sort of catastrophe. Mine was one of those stories although it never made the news.
Three weeks before my wedding, my parents drove south to stay nearby and help with wedding preparations. (I was living in Southern California at the time.) The evening they arrived they received a phone call from my oldest brother. He had struggled with health issues for several months with no clear answers. On this day, his Dr. was out of the office and the Dr. filling in was able to find something that was caught by a simple blood test. He had Acute myeloid leukemia (AML). That was a Friday. He flew from his small area to UCLA medical center near us on Sunday. In the early hours of Tuesday morning his spleen ruptured and they were unable to save him.
Upon hearing the news from my Dad, my first thought is that I would postpone the wedding. My brother had made it clear to my parents that under no circumstances were we to cancel the wedding. So amidst memorials, burials and traveling to Colorado, there were still tux fittings, dress alterations and flowers to arrange. On that day, as we were taking photos, the photographer announced that as soon as he took the family photo he would be taking the sibling pose. I turned to my mother and gasped "They aren't all here!" She graciously took the photographer aside and he took a moment to "change film", giving us a moment to regain composure and move forward.
I know for a fact there were a few family members who thought that proceeding with the wedding was completely inappropriate. For me it was my chance to move through the storm in the arms of a loving God. To have the grace of God pouring such joy into my life at the same time as the deepest sorrow I had ever known was to experience His hand on my life in a way I could have never forseen.
That is the main reason I love clouds. They bring interest and texture against a clear sky. The fluffy clouds bring whimsy and wonder while the dark clouds and angry sky tell me that everything is going to smell fresh and clean when the storm passes. We have learned that we don't need to wait for the storms to pass to experience joy.
Recently the Coffee Guy bought me a small sign to put with our family photos. It says "Life isn't about waiting for storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain." I really like dancing.
Always,
Hope
When I speak of ministry I am referring to all Christ followers. We have all been called to minister in some way or another. We are being equipped daily to reach into the lives of others and to bring light into a very dark world. From the day that we commit our lives to Him and become born again (John 3:7b) we are destined to minister. Just like our physical life, as we grow we gain more ability, as we mature we are given more responsibility, our spiritual growth is much the same. We learn lessons both spoken and through experience. As children, there were many lessons we learn by being told and simply believing our parents, others had to be learned the hard way.
My dear friend has great examples in her four children. Her oldest had to test daily if the limits were still there. The next one just needed to test every so often but found comfort in boundaries. The third was compliant and faced things on an emotional level and the fourth understands on a logical level. We can sit in church, listen to sermons and act on the principles taught. There are many of us who have to "try it out" first. The beauty is that the Lord knows our learning styles. He knew that allowing me to have a birth mark and subsequent scar on my face would give me compassion for children who are teased far more than a lesson or lecture would have. As a young woman, I knew in my head that infertility would be a sad thing but until I walked that path for years, I couldn't truly be used to comfort a woman as she grieved the loss. If I had been able to give birth to more children, I most likely wouldn't have pursued the adoption of the Princess, who has taught me more about faith and trust than anyone else in my life.
Whatever trial you have faced or are experiencing at this moment, you can be sure that it won't be discarded but be used to make something beautiful. It may be the catalyst to form a deep relationship, minister to a hurting person or spur on someone giving them hope. Be sure that if you submit it to your Creator, you will be given the freedom to be a blessing to others. On this earth we may never know why but in faith and trust, we can allow it to be used to bless the lives of others. Joseph was used to save his people. How will you be used? Will you allow peace to invade your soul?
Always,
Hope
This morning in my Life Journal I was led to Matthew 1-4. I was impressed by the fact that before Jesus went into public ministry He was tempted in the wilderness. He had been baptized by John the Baptist, chapter 4 states He was "led by the Spirit to be tempted by the devil" and after a time of fasting and when He rejected the temptations, it says (v11) " Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him." At this point, His earthly ministry begins.
So many of us feel ready for ministry when in our human wisdom we have gone through the steps laid out for us. We feel we have proved ourselves. I have seen many who are discouraged because a pastor hasn't appointed them or they haven't been hired to a position that they are certain they qualify. I myself have been baffled by being overlooked to teach a particular study. Jesus wasn't discouraged or baffled. No one was, has ever been or will ever be as qualified to teach as Jesus was yet He was still tested. Why should we be different?
In our preparation for ministry, we need to remember that everyday holds opportunity to reach into the lives or others. If we are focusing on the One we want to bring to others, He will bring people to us who need Him. He will allow us to confront temptation (with His protection of course), be tested and permitted to grow in areas we didn't know still needed development.
Our current sermon series has been focused on Joseph's life and ministry which can be found in Genesis 37-45. What has stood out to me the most is that Joseph knew early on that the Lord had called him to minister to His people. There had to be some moments where Joseph wondered if God hadn't passed the word on to those who seemed to derail the plans. Instead, Joseph trusted the Lord, continuing to serve Him and wait for the time He would be used. In hindsight we are able to see how Joseph was put in a position to save his people during the famine.
Where are you in your journey? Are you trusting that God has your destiny in His hands? Do you question at times whether or not those around recognize God's plan in your life?
Tomorrow I will get more personal and share some of my journey towards my destiny. Stay tuned...
Always,
Hope
I took some time off today to seek a new direction only to find that I was inspired to move forward in an area I have been contemplating for years. I don't pretend to be heavily schooled or an expert on anything but I am finding that the Lord is slowly allowing me to use the experiences that I have walked through in my life to encourage others. My love for writing and my compassion for others is at the beginning of this new venture. I know when I hear others use those words I think to myself "Please don't ask me to buy cookware, candles or a membership to a travel company!" I am not selling anything nor am I asking anything of anyone but I am offering encouragement. Simple lessons in a complicated world. My answers are a combination of Scripture and my own experience.
I invite you to walk with me on this journey of laughter, tears, AHA! (not the '80s rock band) moments and growth. I will return to updating my prayer blog as well. We'll explore love, parenting, marriage, faith, fear and facing life's trials. This should be interesting...
Looking forward to a bright future!
Always,
Hope
