Colonel Sanders is Not the Devil

My Enormous Plate of Food at My Birthday Party

As a passionate person you might think it wouldn't take much to get me fired up but I read a post last night that fell on my nerves like a 747 with stuck landing gear. It hit with a thud, dragging me down the runway leaving road rash on my emotional behind. I started to beat out a response on my iPod Touch and decided to wait until this morning. Be warned, both barrels are loaded.

The topic you ask? Addressing obesity in the church. Yes, because now church is a replacement for the Diet Center. The title "It’s Probably Time We All Talked About Obesity & The Church" was enough to raise my usually normal blood pressure but it was the fried chicken that sent me over the edge. I very rarely eat fried food but to think that someone would even suggest to their parishioners that from now on please refrain from bringing biscuits and chicken to the potlucks, oh and while your at it, make the desserts smaller. 

Tackling the issue of "gluttony" as if it is the only link to obesity is short sighted and ignorant. To equate overeating to "illegal drugs, smoking, and alcohol abuse" is to over simplify the struggle. You can't completely do away with food without that becoming a whole other issue. My pastor (a fit racquetball player) once said that  being overly picky about your food is a form of gluttony as well. I agree. Are we going to set up adult sized high chairs for the congregation and make them eat their broccoli?

Does anybody really think we need to point out to someone that they are obese or that it is frowned upon? Do we really think that they don't know this?  Just how in this situation are we supposed to be our brother's keeper?

Here is the conversation as I imagine it:

"Um, hey, Bill? You're obese. Ya I have never had that problem but I believe it is my duty as your brother/sister in Christ to let you know that you need self control. That is mentioned as "Fruit of the Spirit" by the way. This is all to show you my love. (Another fruit I might add)."

It reminds me of the high school volleyball coach who sat next to me in the stands during practice one day. She "lovingly" told me that my thighs were like "cottage cheese" proving that I didn't have a large frame but needed to diet. Then there was the 4'10" cheerleading coach that let me know I would have made the team senior year except I was "too tall" and "overweight".

Where this author really misses the point is that those of us who have truly struggled with weight loss and eating disorder don't save it for the potluck. In my darkest hours it was when I was hidden in the food pantry, stuffing down the pain and filling the loneliness with every salty bite I could get my hands on until I made myself sick. It was the fear of being hungry or not getting enough. The emptiness in me caused a hole that couldn't be filled.

At potlucks I was a model citizen, an expert at taking only what I wanted you to think I was eating. At the time I fooled no one but myself. When I began starving myself, I had to pretend to be eating things that I wasn't to deflect those who were concerned. Have you ever gone to a Chinese wedding feast? As the food spins around in front of you throughout the meal, you take a small piece on your plate, rub some mustard around and hope no one catches on to the fact that nothing has passed through your lips. Engaging in conversation is your only hope to distract from the truth. The fact that the unsuppressed need for control is in itself beyond your control.

My journey out of that place didn't begin with a well placed sermon or more rules at a buffet. It started with a bold and loving friend that said "What are you doing with your life?" She loved me enough to know me. To have a real relationship with me and lead me into an intimate relationship with the One who knows me more. You know what else? She has never mentioned my weight. That hardly makes her unloving.

Jesus Christ died for me before I ate "right". His grace was given freely to heal the pain and shine light into the places I've needed to see. He has allowed me to walk in this place of decision where it feels like the world doesn't understand and accept who I am because in so many ways, I don't fit in. We don't need to tell each other what to do, we need to tell them who loves them. We need to lead them to who paid the price to save them.

So here I am, eating right, trying to exercise when I have the strength and I'm still a "big girl". I am still a creation of the Creator of the Universe. If you are the type of person who sees my size first, my prayer is that it is my smile or my eyes or my heart that you will see last.

Let me be a woman of faith that spreads joy and love and compassion and 

always...

Hope

PS I have chosen not to link to the original post at this time.

Here are three more posts I have written on this topic. It is where I am at apparently.

My post on beauty addresses this too. It was featured at Chasing Silhouettes and you can find it here.

The Weight of Comparisons and Judgements

Discussing Weighty Matters

Just as I was ready to hit "publish" I saw this story on the news. Please take a minute to watch, I think you will find it timely.

50 Days to 50 - A Refuge

Day 5

When darkness casts a shadow on my soul,

when it presses through to the edges of my heart,

I find myself weary, desperate, seeking rest.

Sometimes the ache comes from life's turns

and with those there is a sense of acceptance.

The knowledge that sometimes things "just happen"

can in itself be a form a comfort when human hands

cannot turn the wheels of circumstance, we find resolve.

Then there are those times when the cruelty of others,

selfishness, hate, greed and insecurities rain down

into our lives and threaten to crush us under the weight.

Even in those times, I am found by His goodness,

surrounded by His faithfulness,
saved by His infinite love for me.

The grace He extends for me,
He gives in abundance so I may

extend it to those who He calls my enemies.

The times I feel bombarded and in my weakness

He becomes my refuge and strength.

Psalm 139: 7-12 (NKJV)

"7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

9 If I take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,”

Even the night shall be light about me;

12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,

But the night shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to You."

Always,

Hope

(NOTE: This is my Jubilee year. Scripture speaks of this year as a time for restoration and debts to be cancelled. I see it as a time to reflect and to count my blessings. Knowing how precious life is and how miraculous it is, I want to write about His goodness.)

The Tattoo

Well, I did it and it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

It looks good too.

I have feared what people might say.

Will people be too quick to judge?

I went anyway and I'm glad I did.

Oh, wait, no. I didn't get one. Ray did. It is her second. I prayed, pondered and yes, pontificated. (Not really, I just like alliteration) I did what any loving mother would do. I tried to talk her out of it. "It is permanent" I insisted. "What if you don't like it in ten years? Remember ten years ago when you were 10? Would you wear the same things now?" She wouldn't budge. She had already put down the deposit, made the appointment and there was a half price sale. It was one she has wanted for a long time and she knew what she wanted and where she wanted it.

Then it happened.

She asked me to go with her.

After telling her I would think about it. I prayed. I asked for wisdom and strength. Then I thought about it.

She is 20, married, working, smart with her money, intelligent, unique, an individual and so much more.

Knowing how I felt, she still wanted me to go. That told me something huge. As a parent I have always wanted my children to grow up to be unique, independent, kind, caring and she is. She chose a reputable place, an artist with a good reputation and she asked me to go with her and that spoke volumes.

It told me she trusts me.

It said "I know you love me no matter what Mom".

It yelled "Thank you for letting me be me".

It reminded me that who she is on the inside is so much more than the body she is in for such a short time.

"It's you and me against the World"
A message to her husband that
they are on the same side

So I went and you know what it did?

It gave us one more memory to treasure in our hearts forever.

That was worth it all.

Always,

Hope

What Is Holding You Back?

On Sunday, during another wonderful service, there were several people who chose to have prayer for various needs in their lives. While praying the Pastor asked God to release people from their chains or in other words from those things that were keeping them bound up and unable to move forward. This brought on a beautiful time of release and the ability for many to move forward in their lives. No longer would they need to feel held back or frozen in a place of no movement.
This morning, during my own time of prayer and reflection I was struck by something that excited me so much I had to interrupt the Coffee Guy to tell him about it! I really believe this could be one of those life changing moments and I wasn't going to enter it quietly.
As long as I can remember, I have had a love/hate relationship with food. I love it when I want comfort and hate it when it makes me feel out of control. I am one of those girls that could more easily name the very few diets I have not been on as opposed to naming everything I have tried. Its one of the culprits I have blamed when I didn't fit in (literally) yet I have come to know it so intimately that there isn't a dish on this earth that I wouldn't be willing to try and prepare. Food was my friend when I was lonely, my target when I was angry and still there to celebrate the big events of my life! So of course, food must be to blame for so many of the ills in my life, right?
Recently I have been pondering this relationship and have been frustrated to find the answer so elusive. I mean really, everybody seems to have a angle. From cutting out certain foods to how many times a day you eat to writing down everything you eat. We count calories, fat grams and water intake. I have done all that and more! So why can't I get a grip?
While studying Acts this morning, in Chapter 15, Paul and Barnabas were confronted with another group of men teaching about the need for circumcision. It struck me that so many of us are doing the same thing! Circumcision is an act of the flesh, part of the law and an act of cutting away the flesh. I had become part of this argument. I found myself a couple of weeks ago convinced that its not about what we do with our flesh but its our hearts that need to be changed. Sure, our actions will follow but until our hearts are changed, its jut an outward act of the law.
As I read further, I came upon the place where Paul and Silas were imprisoned in Acts 16:25-30 they sang hymns. As they sang, an earthquake shook the entire prison, the doors flew open and their chains fell off. This is where it really hit me. They were busy singing and praising the Lord when they found the sweet release of their chains falling off. They weren't busy examining their chains to see what they were made of or how strong they were. They didn't sit around discussing how they got on there or the unfairness of their situation. They praised their Lord! They concentrated on praising God while in their chains. They continued to seek intimacy with Him instead of excuses to resist intimacy!
My chains are not food. Food has been covering my chains! When I gave up food for exercise, then it was exercise that covered my chains. When I followed the laws of "diet", I was shackled to the law. As I shopped for the perfect clothes, car or mate, those things covered my chains. When I set out to be the perfect wife and mother, those things distracted me from my real chains as well. These things have been diverting my focus from the real bondage all along! The real bondage is going to be different for everyone and I'm still seeking God to figure out mine. Most likely I will find some pride, lack of faith or something else that keeps me from truly being intimate with God. Whatever it is, Romans 8:1-15 tells me to walk in the Spirit. Its a lack of trusting Him and turning to whatever I have considered my chains to be that has kept me from the freedom He intends for me to have!
Today is a day that I am celebrating freedom! After seeking Him, asking for wisdom and having prayers of revelation spoken in my behalf, He is revealing to me that it is time to step forward. Moving away from the old and facing a new day! I can almost audibly hear the chains falling off of my mind and heart.
What are you seeking to be free from today? Do you really want to keep carrying those chains around? Isn't it about time you seek the only one who can make you truly free?

Always,

Hope

Are You Being Poisoned?

There are a few members of my family that enjoy a good crime drama. True life crime stories are just as fascinating. What amazes me is the lengths that some will go to in order to trap their victims. Poison can be one of the most difficult methods to detect. Did you know that poison can be sweet? It can be hidden in everyday food so its not detected by the target or those observing.

I'm finding that bitterness can permeate our everyday life in the same way. Sometimes through speech, our thought life and interactions with others.  Its often not obvious but can be slowly interjected into everyday conversation. We relay stories involving perceived hurts we have endured at the hands of others or we listen to such tales. The next thing we know we have picked up an offense against another. That is when the bitterness starts to take root. It doesn't take much to make it grow.

Bitterness is much easier to detect when an obvious fault has been perpetrated but it is no less poisonous in those cases. It destroys just as much and makes it easier for us to justify. So what is the antidote? How do we  keep from being contaminated?

In Exodus 15:23-25, the only source of water for the Israelites is in a place called Marah which is literally translated "bitter". The Lord showed Moses a tree to cast into the water which became not only drinkable but sweet.

What a fantastic picture! When we are presented with pools of bitterness, we are to call out to the giver of life. Some would even say that the wood represents the cross being placed in the midst of the bitter pool to make it sweet. Even better, Jesus heals the hurts and offers sweet living water.

When the negative comments or thoughts come in a trickle, when they are disguised as sharing concerns or getting support for the hurts someone has endured, we still have to call on the one who can make bitter things sweet. He can heal the hurtful words and keep them from killing off relationships. He can keep us from poisoning ourselves as well as keep us from injuring others.

There are at least two keys that will keep a root of bitterness from growing, one is forgiveness, the second is taking thoughts captive.
Forgiveness is addressed in Ephesians. Verses 4:31,32 admonish us "³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." When we think of all that Christ has forgiven us for,  its sobering to think of the petty things (in contrast) that we hold onto.
Do you have little things that have sprouted up in your life? Do you have unforgiveness that needs to be addressed? Is today the day to search your heart for those things that only God can turn sweet?

Always,

Hope

Up next: Forgiveness and taking thoughts captive.