Wondering if it is Worth the Fuss

Each table was decorated with excruciating details of every imaginable Christmas theme from whimsical to elegant and dramatic to simple. Over one hundred women calmed the chatter as the speaker took the podium. Leaning in she began, "Merry Christmas! It's CHRISTMAS! I refuse to say Happy Holidays!" She laughed and continued with her talk. To this day I have no clue what she said after that. I just remember being disappointed.

I wasn't overly puzzled. I had been hearing this for a year or two by then from several corners of my life. There was even a campaign to point out which businesses were not allowing their employees to greet customers with the old greeting of "Merry Christmas". Instead, there was a decision to include everyone by using the (also old) salutation of "Happy Holidays!"
My email box was full from those offended who sent lists of  companies that were using "Happy Holidays" in their advertising. We were told that as Christians we should boycott the stores. I heard from others how they would correct the clerk behind the counter who dared utter the wrong phrase.

Seriously, I pictured a young woman, on a winter break Christmas vacation from college, trying to make some book money being corrected by angry protesters for uttering words "Happy Holidays". "It's MERRY CHRISTMAS!" they would say with incredulity. As the innocent, once cheery, clerk counts back change into angry outstretched hand, I wonder what it really says to her. Does anyone think about what that does to the rest of her day?

To be sure, I do wonder why businesses see the need to protect customers from hearing "Merry Christmas". Sometimes I'm sure it's just an innocent choice and yes, political correctness can go to far. Do we really need to over correct? After all, it IS the holiday season. We are celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year as well as Hanukkah. Why not just expedite things and bless all of the holidays?

I believe you should shout the greeting you prefer. (I like "Happy Christmas". It sounds British and even a bit fancy if you have the accent.)

There is another beef some have spent their time on.  It's on using X in Xmas in place of (not opposed to) Christmas. R.C. Sproul does a better job than I do on educating others on the topic here.

So I wonder (out loud apparently), what's all the fuss? Why do we get offended? What am I missing? Can anyone really take the meaning of our own celebrations away? Is it okay to have preferences and refuse to get offended at every turn?

There are truly offensive stories we should be grabbing on to all year round. Causes that really need our attention and needs that could benefit by the raising or our voices lay silent while we debate over words spoken in the checkout like or painted on the sign of a store.

Let's get really angry about human trafficking. I want to scream about child abuse. Can we spend our time battling poverty with the money we aren't going to spend at the stores that offend us? How about volunteering at a local warming center? There are people freezing on our streets who don't care how you greet them. (Ours will be open all week here in our little burg. There is a small staff and they would be thrilled to have an hour of time to help make sandwiches to send off with the clients in the morning.)

Maybe it's my age, lack of sleep or I need a nap (I get a little fussy in the afternoon) but I couldn't stay quiet about the noise. Two friends posted similar discussions today while I was pondering this. I know I'm not alone.

Here are some links to turn our anger into righteous indignation:

Rescue Pink's mission is to bring an end to female infanticide in India through rescue, prevention and awareness.

Communities of Hope A school in Bubunza

Love 146 Fights human trafficking in the bravest of ways. 

Help One Now is committed to caring for orphans & vulnerable children by empowering & resourcing high-capacity local leaders in order to transform communities & break the cycle of extreme poverty.

Real Hope India Still has opportunities to sponsor children for their tribal Christmas.

If you have any suggestions or thoughts, leave them in the comments. My intention is not to embarrass or alienate but to make us all take a breath and think about how we can do things different and love each other better. It wasn't sparked by one person but a series of events over the years.

As Always,

Hope

In Comforting Silence

My dear friend and mentor was faced with terrible news this week. Her son-in-law was diagnosed with a serious form of cancer. Before 24 hours had passed she was already hearing comments that were not only unhelpful, they were painful. She posted the article, What Not to Say When Someone has Cancer. I read it with great interest because not only to I want to be a comfort, I've been on the receiving end of some of the worst comments ever.

Three weeks before my wedding my brother was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia or AML (as if abbreviating it makes it better). Within four days he had passed away leaving our family and a small rural Colorado community devastated. We lost a brother, son and friend, Rangely lost a beloved school teacher and part time forest ranger.

The timing of course couldn't be worse but really, there is never a good time to face death. The words "This was a really bad time for this" not only brought confusion, they weren't at all comforting. It didn't help that there were diverse opinion on whether or not we should postpone the wedding. What some didn't know (and some admittedly didn't care) was that my brother had told my Dad, "No matter what, that wedding WILL go on." (In hindsight I think my brother knew what even the doctors were surprised by.)

It seems that humans have developed this economy of grief. Meaning, each loss or trial we face has a value placed on it. For example, the loss of a child trumps the loss of a parent which trumps the loss of a sibling which trumps the loss of a friend followed by the loss of a pet. To some extent, I agree that there are different but all the same, grief is grief. It hits us all in such different ways that to minimize the ache someone else feels with platitudes and (mostly) well meaning words don't bring comfort to the receiver  Sometimes I think it is to calm down the one who thinks they are just being helpful.

My amazing Mom gave me some lasting wisdom the morning of Glen's death. As usual, even in her own grief, she was forging ahead and doing what she did best. She was encouraging. She told me as I walked in "Put on your duck suit. People are going to say really stupid things and like water off a ducks back, you need to let them roll off". Easier said than done but one of the best pieces of advice ever.

This is not a time for stories. It is not a time to outgrief each other or try to make them feel better by telling them how much worse it could have been. It isn't time to quote verses or to point fingers of blame at water, food or sin. Leave the "perspective" and "it could have been worse" next to your ego right at the curb with the rest of the garbage.

To deny someone else's perspective is to diminish the work that God wants to do in our lives. To believe that only the big lessons are worth learning will negate all of the small lessons that make our journey a step by step process. This is their journey. It will look, smell, taste and feel different from yours. Although there maybe some familiar landmarks, let them take your hand, not the other way around. Walk beside them and don't try to push them from behind.

Sometimes the best thing we can say is nothing at all. There are times when silence is the best place to seek comfort. Ever wonder why a chapel is so often a place of refuge? A place of contemplation? A place to seek God's face? There is a reverent silence found there. It is in the beauty of silence that friends can speak to the heart.

Over thirty years ago, barely an adult, my life took a crushing blow when my dearest friends were in a car accident. They had been married for six months when a drunk driver slammed into their car, killing the husband and causing a permanent brain injury for the wife. There were a steady group of friends who sat in the ICU waiting room, waiting to go in for a short  moment every hour.

At the funeral, as the wife lay in a coma across town, I stood outside the church not wanting to go in. One of our friends came and got me, telling me one of the guys really needed me. I made my way to the front pew as my he sat with a torrent of tears running down his face. I don't remember saying anything. I don't remember if I held his hand or touched his shoulder. I only remember sitting there while he cried because it was his moment to grieve.

When we follow Christ we become the Church. We become the sanctuary to wounded hearts and longing souls. We become the hands and feet of Jesus. I remember the first time I heard someone ask a crowd to be "Jesus with skin on" to a newcomer in the community. I like that because Jesus who not only held all the answers but he wrote them all still knew when to be silent. His words and everything else he did were to draw us in to full healing and intimacy. When Lazurus was dead He wept. Even though He knew that resurrection would come, He grieved with the family in front of the tomb. He never told Martha to suck it up and be strong, He wept. Quietly His heart ached with His friends.

My friend, can I encourage you to do the same? Be willing to ache with a friend. If the hurts of others is too uncomfortable to bear, may I suggest that you quietly pray from your home? On the other hand, if you are willing to push past the discomfort, to sit in the silence until the grieving one breaks it, then by all means reach out. Offer a touch or a meal or a soothing drink.

Prepare a reverent place for tears and questions. Offer the quiet cathedral of your heart so they can hear the One who comforts best of all. 

Always,



Hope

The Cross Through the Eyes of a Mother

During this Holy Week, I can't help but reflect on the most precious gift ever given to humankind, the gift of life. This gift is the most priceless as well. It took enormous sacrifice, we as Christ followers know this. We have heard the story for years told in so many ways that we often get immune to the depth and the price that was paid.
Our church body is in the fourth year of presenting the story called "The Passover Lamb". It is a beautiful portrayal of Jesus during the last days of Holy Week and Passover. A few months ago I was asked to portray Mother Mary and I accepted. During the first rehearsal of the crucifixion scene, the director gave me a picture of how she wanted this part to come across. The horror that Mary saw when she looked upon her son hanging from a cross, beaten, bloody, dying and being mocked by the crowds that surrounded her was to be conveyed.
As I kneel at the foot of the cross during each performance, I see a very small glimpse of what Mary must have seen. It is chilling. My ears tune in to the jeering of the crowd. The voices of the same people who earlier in the week would have been shouting, "Hosanna", "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord"! After He dies, we are left alone, the only sound you hear is the wailing of His friends. As He is carried away by the guards, another wave of grief sweeps through and the reality of His sacrifice sets into another layer of my soul. Then there is a time of hollow mourning. Where numbness and grief intersect. There is no more energy for wailing, only empty sadness.
Then it happens, as it did in reality, the triumph of life over death. The stone rolls away to reveal a risen Saviour. Our God who came in the flesh to pay for what I could not, emerges from the tomb.
The hope that He brought with Him on that day is my constant companion. It has carried me as I am sure it carried Mary on the dark day so long ago. We know the accounts of what she saw on the day He died, we can imagine the joy when He rose but today represents the in between. Today, on the day in between, the confusion, the suffering, the sadness she walked through on that day. Although she knew what He had taught, she also knew that man has freewill and perhaps it was freewill that murdered her Son.
Today, during the "in between", as I prepare to celebrate His resurrection, I will contemplate the heart of a mother whose pain was real. A woman who willingly accepted what it meant to serve God with everything. She never once turned from her commitment and continued to trust in her God, even in the middle of the unimaginable. The God who asks us to trust Him with everything we have as well.

Have a blessed Resurrection Weekend!


Always,


Hope

Doing the Most Important Things First

When Jesus was asked one day what the greatest commandment was, he replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30,31 NKJV)
While reading this, I was struck by the simplicity of what Christ Followers have been called to do in contrast to how so many think we should live. Many of us are so caught up following the law and in the obedience of those around us that we can't focus on love. Then there are those who are caught up in our own obedience, our own service. We quickly forget what Christ really came to do. Christ came to reconcile us to Himself and to each other. So He asks us to do two things, love Him and love one another.
God is love! He wants us to love Him because in loving Him we find the freedom to love others. I'm not talking about the feeling of love, I'm talking about the action of love. The choice of love. Sometimes the pain of love. The love He gives us which is unconditional. A love not based on performance or on perceived worth.
He loves us wholly and completely and all He asks of us is to love Him back. Anything that we do for Him should be from the outpouring of our love for Him, not out of obligation (we can never pay Him back). It isn't about what we do it is solely about who we are. If everything we do is an overflow of the love we demonstrate for Him we will be filled with a peace and a purpose like no other.
My friend, you are loved. You are an immeasurable treasure and nothing you do can change that. Nothing anyone else says about you or does to you will change the love of your Creator. You are significant. Knowing that should allow you to see others in the same light. Would your responses to those who hurt you be different if you just remembered, "Jesus died for them too"? Are you able to love your neighbor in the way God commands you to? The more we spend time in His presence, loving Him, the more we began to know His love for us.


Always,


Hope

How Do You Judge the Value of a Person?

What does it mean that something has value? In the monetary sense value is based on the amount of money you can receive from an object or in exchange for a service. Value can be directly tied to what we are willing to put into it or how highly we esteem the item. If we go by Antique Road Show standards, it would depend on how rare the item is or who actually created it. If it is the latest "must have" item, many have been known to spend ridiculous amounts of money to make sure they get one for themselves. The right words from the right people can determine how popular an item will become.

Along the same line, sense of value can be lost by a negative review or opinion. It doesn't take much to change someone's mind when you cause fear or doubt. A local restaurant lost a large amount of business last year when a woman claimed (and it was printed in the paper) that she had gotten sick. What wasn't made public is that she took her food to go and after a full investigation there was nothing found at the restaurant that could even hint that it came from there let alone that the food she ate was what caused her to become ill. No retraction or follow up was ever printed in the news. Even though there was no proof that the restaurant caused harm, the business suffered.

How does all of that translate to the value of a person? Is it based on what you see on the surface? Do we measure people by their accomplishments? Do we choose who to love based on what other's say? How willing are we to get at the truth before discounting or even putting value on another person.
We have heard before that we are "wonderfully made" and I wrote about how my Creator used that to heal my heart. Lately I have been pondering and studying my worth or my value. We know as Christ followers, to God we were worth sending His Son to die for us. His love is deeper that we can fathom yet we try to add our own value system on others. We use their beauty, their reputation or what we get from them to determine their worth.
Can you imagine if we treated everyone how God treats them? What if we chose to see their worth based on His economy and not ours? Finding the truth ourselves and not basing our opinions on the experience of another.
Lately I have been grieved as I have watched people that were once close to me fall away and become distant. At the same time they have spent more time with someone that Scripture would call my enemy. It saddens me to watch as they take part in the division of relationships. I was intrigued by what Titus 3:10 has to say, "Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition, ¹¹ knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned". I also am told in 1 John 4:20 “If someone says, “I love God” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother who he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him; that he who loves God must love his brother also.”
I can't control what others do or say, only how I respond. I can't make anyone stop hating me but I will choose to respond to them as Jesus did. He died for them. My choice to daily die to myself has to include choosing to bless, love and do good to them. Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you" along with Romans 12:14 "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse."
This won't be easy but I am committing to this path. I am one of a kind, valued in the eyes of the King to be worthy of dying for. So is the one who seeks to strip away my value with words but it just might be time to see that they are restored.
Always,
Hope

What Are You Supposed to Be Doing?

Let me preface this post with this thought, I don't write these words or share these thoughts because I have a grasp on anything. This is a project for me. Its one of my classes in the school of life. As I research, read, interact and experiment I am writing a paper of sorts. Sharing with the class the things I am finding out about my life. Just walking along with my schoolmates. Although most of my posts can be applied to everyday life, some make much more sense if you are a follower of Christ. These teachings are part of my journey to know my Creator more intimately and to grow in my love for Him. This post is more towards the church going crowd. Those who attend regularly and serve in one way or another. I have some interesting thoughts tonight. The need to write them down was pressing on me.
I have grown up attending church. As a two week old baby, my first venture our of the house was straight to the little church my Mom and Dad had attended since their dating days. Only a couple of years out of my life have been spent without a church home or a desire to attend so experience plays a role here.

Burnout has been a reality in churches for as long as I can remember. A few people doing the majority of the work. Those who call themselves Christians dragging through church and life in a tired state. Many children end up as "pew orphans" and families become strained until something gives. I once heard it said that 20% of the people do 80% of the work. Perhaps that is true but there is another truth I've experienced. Many of that 20% don't want to give up control of "their area" of service. There are plenty of gifted folks among the 80% who would be glad to step in but a portion of the 20% feel as if the role belongs to them. Giving up any part of that may mean surrendering control. Even walking away from something that they started. They view it as their baby and can't imagine that anyone else would love it as much as they do.
What came to mind tonight is what if you were willing to give up one or two of your jobs? If you were asked, what would you give up? Would you hand over your favorite job or the one you least enjoy? Would you be willing to step in and take the chance that they may do it better than you? Luke 6:27-30 ²⁷"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. ³⁰Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹Do to others as you would have them do to you."
I'm not suggesting that anyone step out of where they are called but are you called to do so much that you sacrifice your family for the sake of a church position? Are we afraid to say no to an area we aren't called to serve because we are afraid of getting passed over for one we have always wanted? We aren't supposed to sacrifice our relationships with others in our church body either. What we are supposed to sacrifice and lay down is our pride, our ego, our selves! 
My challenge to you (and to myself) is to think about these things. Are you the only one called to serve? Are you the only one with a gift? Would you be willing to partake in true growth by dying to self and letting someone else have the chance to serve? What is God truly calling you to do? Are you willing to get out of the way and let God do something new in your life and the life of your church?

Always,

Hope