September 06, 2012

Finding Meaning in My Words


Sometimes I feel like that five year old girl standing on the coffee table begging to be noticed. "I have something to show you!!" I cry out as I show off my new shoes amid the chaos of so many people coming and going around me. I want to be heard, to be seen, to be understood.

Other times it is the thirteen year old who withdraws in her room. The years of scrutiny, teasing and not measuring up causing crippling doubt. Now falling into the sea of endless stories I sit quietly to wait for my turn to say something. Worried about saying the wrong thing I tossed thousands of words onto a page but I close it. I don't let it flow free because it has to be perfect. It has to be right. It has to be better than others or it won't be seen, it won't be noticed and if that is the case, what's the point?

So much focus around me is about being the best. Being number one. Getting the most hits, likes or subscribers. There is an endless sea of places to submit my stories but with that is a countless line of writers hoping their work will be noticed too. 

That is where I settle back in to who I am. Reminding myself that my worth doesn't come from the praise of others. I am created in His image. Made by a loving God who knows my struggles. He has walked me through the pain. He is writing His story on my heart. As I begin to place it on these pages, as I make my way through the thoughts, the words, the heart cries, I will find that place. That place that meets others in the depth of their stories. In the curves of their lives where they are hoping to stand by someone and say YES!

Let this be a place to find love. Allow this be a point to discover rest. May this be where some unearth courage. When life gets dark, let this be a place to find Hope.

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