My One Word for 2014

"We spend more time talking about our relationship than we do actually having one." He blurted out from across the picnic table with wind snuffed candles and half eaten chicken.

He was right. It bugged me but the truth was right there.

We had met under strange circumstances and kept seeing each other without a sense of direction or purpose. What I do know is we both wanted something deeper. It just wasn't the same something and the only thing we had in common was our similar past that we were both trying to leave behind.

That evening I'd attempted to fan what ever flame might be there. A picnic dinner, local park at sunset face to face with each other. What came of it was the stark realization that neither one of us were feeding the relationship. We weren't actually having one, we just talked about one.

I'm beginning to see social media in the same light.

We try to share our lives, our politics and our faith by throwing it "out there" to see where it will stick. We jump into verbal wrestling matches full of heated words but no warmth of voice tone or connection.

Don't get me wrong, internet relationships have connected me to some of the most precious souls I know. I've been inspired to think about things outside of my small sphere. There has been movement in my heart to connect to those near me in ways I hadn't seen. I've been able to keep up with, pray for and encourage those I live far from but never wanted to lose.

Sadly it's done something else. It's cluttered my brain.

Back before digital cameras, I spent much more time setting up my shots. Taking fewer images because after all, it was expensive to develop and print. I never wanted to waste a chance at a great portrait. No one wanted to have to throw any away.

It is so different now.

As I snap away, filling up my cards with whatever comes through my lens, I take less care in the moment. I can' always go back to manipulate the image, change the lighting, demolish red eyes or crop out superfluous back grounds.

I'm finding hundreds of pictures that need to be deleted to enjoy the one or maybe two good pieces I can use. Like stray comments and discussions I can delete them.

But there is a difference.

Once words are read, they can't be deleted from the hearts of those who've read them. They take root in minds. They wound and divide and cause confusion. Unless we begin to plant words of grace and hope. Unless we sow what is meant to grow and inspire and teach we will only reap pain and division.

Jesus, God incarnate, came to reconcile us to His Father and to each other.

Pressed in by crowds, touching, being touched, weeping, healing, listening, speaking and loving.

He could have just sent angels, you know, messengers of God. Meeting us in the flesh instead of merely in writing because He is personal that way.

Here we are in this world, connecting through Facebook, Twitter, texting and blogs. We make announcements, share life events and sometimes we invite friends to join us in person. We warn of scams or mourn the passing of great leaders. As tragedies unfold our pages truly become newsfeeds. We no longer gather around flickering screen at a local cafe. We log on, throwing our status updates and pithy quotes out to the internet, hoping in some way to make sense or to feel less alone.

The internet has become our town square, our coffee shop, a meeting place. For some it has become a place for fellowship. For many, it's the only way they may ever hear about us. The truth is, very few will ever really know who we are.

When grappling with an emotional topic one night, "friends of friends" chiming in, a real life friend of mine put it in perspective. She compared it to an open party where guests who aren't invited show up. There is no relationship yet they drop in to argue. No context, no relationship and no real connection. They come only with a need to be heard or be right or both.

I don't want it to be that for me anymore. I'm tired of talking about being in relationships and not really living in them. I'm done with planning meals that no one shares. It is time to "do life" instead of planning it.

It is time to touch, be touched where we can heal and be healed.

Last year I chose the word "galvanize" for my One Word. It was better than a resolution because it wasn't about one part of my life. It wove its way through all the places to inspire and incite for change.

This year I have chosen the word "reconciliation". A word that means to restore relationships, to repair connections and to grow friendships.

After all, it is fulfilling the commandments Jesus said were most important. 

Matthew 22:36-40 (NIRV)

36 “Teacher,” he asked, “which is the most important commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your mind.’ (Deuteronomy 6:5) 38 This is the first and most important commandment. 39 And the second is like it. ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ (Leviticus 19:18) 40 Everything that is written in the Law and the Prophets is based on these two commandments.”

What word will you focus on this year? How about just today?

In The Heart of My Author

Courtesy of A Shared Lens

I enjoy reading the work of authors who inspire me to live better, love freely and immerse myself in grace. Some writers encourage me to appreciate my children, others give me great ideas for health and nutrition while others inspire me to dig deeper in my faith.

It occurred to me recently that I often post links to my favorite writings because I am so inspired by the words and often the author. The story of their life can bring new meaning to the daily trials of my own life. Sometimes it's just knowing that I'm not alone that makes these days bearable.

It seems to me that this has become the way we communicate in this world. The internet is the modern "water cooler" or break room. It's where we share snippets of wisdom, pop cultures or knowledge. As in the past, there are few places for in depth conversation when we throw out a quick comment as we're passing through from one task to the next.

We have lost the art of sharing life. No wonder our souls have become emaciated. Our relationships are being fed the equivalent of "fun size" candy bars and very few of us are sharing substance. If we do, it is so small that it doesn't sustain us for any length of time. It keeps us longing for bits and morsels.

That is not how we were made.

We were created for relationship. We were meant to connect face to face and heart to heart. With the world so spread apart, I am grateful for small ways to communicate. I'm happy that ideas are spread and the writings or movies or music can be shared globally in a small amount of time. It just isn't enough.

One things that stuck out to me today is that those who write popular books and blogs are saying things that so many of us need to hear. They are beautiful ideas and words woven into artistic phrases to inspire us to love more. When they share stories of theirs lives we feel close to them but the reality is we still walk away holding onto those places we need to share. We not only need to be touched, we need to touch. We need to be heard too.

That is when I sat in the comfort today that Jesus loves me. My Lord and God hears me. He created me for a relationship with Him. His greatest commandment is that I would love Him with ALL of my "heart, soul, mind and strength". The second is like it as He tells me to love my neighbor. I'm not called to preach in pithy status updates or spend my time linking to people I think say it better than me. I'm called to love. To open myself to reach out and to receive.

So those days when I don't know what to pray or what to write I want to remember, He doesn't want my words He wants my heart.

Always,



Hope

In a Disconnected World

These days I'm having a love/hate relationship with the internet. Maybe I always have but lately it seems that the "hate" side it gaining ground.

Who knew twenty years ago how much this form of communication would connect and divide us? With the continual onslaught of information we have some to care so much that we run out of energy to care enough. 

I'll admit it, I don't know where to draw the line.

I've tried cutting out certain social media (yes Facebook, I'm talking about you) but I have some great connections there. Amidst the clutter and the noise and the fighting and the photos I have found old friends who encourage me, challenge my thinking and help to feed my soul and spirit. 

At one time I was linked to six groups related to having a child with special needs, a Trisomy or the exact condition The Princess was born with. Four groups for buying/selling locally. One to keep up with our friend's ministries.

Then there are those who want to be "friends" because of interactions in these groups.

Then there are the pages I have "liked" so they fill my feed with photos and announcements.

Then there are the family members who have adorable children doing adorable things in adorable photos.

There are things I don't want to miss and things I can't unsee.

In my list there are ongoing theological arguments, conversations and truly inspirational moments of sharing.

There are people to pray for, boycotts to join, illnesses, trials, triumphs and endless causes.

Things that galvanize us and things that just cause outrage.

There are photos of projects I want to do, food I need to make and clothing I want to wear.

Is it possible to know too much?

How do we separate opinions from facts?

When do these online connections aid us in living in the reality outside of the internet?

When is too much not enough?

Those of you reading this probably wouldn't have found me without some form of social media. I dare say the majority has showed up through Facebook.

So, what do I do?

I'm going to connect outside of here and see what happens.
I'm purposing to meet up with more people in real life.
I'm going to take more naps. (That has nothing to do with the internet but I like naps.)
I'm going to encourage you, my readers, to find a human, face to face, voice to voice to connect with today.

How do you survive the clutter of social media? What do you do to keep what is good and ignore the rest? How do you make the internet work for you instead of against you? How do we make sure that those things that connect us in one way don't separate us in others?

Always,


Hope

Thankfulness Journal - Days 15 to 19 - Beautiful Busy Week

Day 15 ~ The Coffee Guy arrived home from his conference. He immediately began helping me pack for my trip the next morning. We chattered on about all of the amazing things God showed him. I am thankful he made it home safe.

Day 16 ~ After months of planning I rented a car and headed north towards Seattle and stayed with friends who always have room no matter what is going on in their lives. I was greeted by my friend's son who was packing to move with his wife and two kidlets to Arizona for a seasonal job. As usual, we stayed up late talking even though I had big plans for the next day.

I am thankful for the love and hospitality of friends.


Day 17 ~ Gina from Texas showed up and we drove north to meet some amazing women. These saints not only support their husbands in ministry but they all have beautiful gifts of service that they bless the world with every day.

We stopped at a delightful tea room where we took an hour or two to get to know each other in person. From there we went to the home of our sweet hostess Jada. She cooked authentic Cajun food as we took part in a video chat with friends from around the world.

The sad note of the day was the absence of our dear Sarah. She arranged this whole meeting but true to her character, stayed home to bless her ailing husband. She chose him and as she often does, she chose well but we missed her greatly.

I am thankful for the soul rest given by sharing your burdens with others.

Day 18 ~ We woke in the morning to the smell of good coffee. As we soaked in the slow morning, we gathered around bowls of fresh oatmeal piled with nuts and berries. Each of us drew in more beauty of each woman whose wisdom and strength are drawn from the same grace giving source.
Gina and I hugged our friends as we left for our adventure in Seattle.

We made our way to Pikes Place Market for a Sunday stroll. After lunch at Elephant & Castle (an English pub style restaurant) to pay homage to G's British husband, we walked back to the market to pick up some flowers, coffee and a few more snapshots.

That afternoon we parted company. I settled back in at my friend's quiet home as Gina made her way back to her sister's to prepare for her early morning flight the next day.

That night my friend and I watched a tearjerker movie as we sunk into her inviting couch. Again we stayed up late talking, listening and blessing the night with God's gift of lasting friendship.
I am thankful for stepping out of the everyday to find treasures in other corners of the world.

Day 19 ~ It was time to head home. After a delectable breakfast I bid my friend farewell, programmed Nigel (the British voice on my GPS) to make my way toward the interstate.
The six hour drive turned into eight through the driving rain that followed me the entire way. I pulled over to have lunch and relax a little before finishing the drive home. I listened to a couple of Mary DeMuth interviews to find encouragement as well.
Dinner was waiting with a lovely table setting. Sitting across from my husband was the most delightful moment of the day. He listened to my chattering as I unfolded the excitement of the weekend for him to share with me. He told me of his "daddy-daughter date night" that turned into a deep discussion with Ray about life, faith and love. My heart soared.

I am thankful for safety, provision and the gifts that my Creator pours into my soul.

I intend had hoped to catch up days 20 to 28 soon. Although I haven't posted everyday, I have been thankful every moment.

Always,


Hope

Finding the Extraordinary in Ordinary Days

Photo Credit: A Shared Lens

My adorable man is away for part of the weekend speaking at a retreat. It seems we are taking turns these days. In his absence I'm finding beauty in the smallest of things. I'm unearthing gems along the way. The ordinary places of life where the sweetest treasures hide.
Sure, we are there for weddings, funerals, graduations and holidays. What about the in between? How about the stories of the moment? What are we doing with those?
I spent last evening with three amazing women whose husbands all have very different ministries. We shared a meal and our hearts. Afterwards, we gathered at the purple couch with the fire flickering its warmth and we prayed. The sweetest requests were sent Heavenward in moments of simplicity. All of us so often busy in our own homes, churches and ministries that we don't connect. This time together cemented in our minds the need to slow down and nurture these relationships. We need each other. 
We joked about using tablecloths and real plates. The newly appointed senior pastor's wife who has had to chase her small child around a pew found encouragement to just let her kids be kids. We talked about what was similar and individual needs. We love our husbands, our children and those to whom we minister.
An ordinary Friday night became sacred moments with sisters. I want to do this more. Not just stand on a platform or write books or plans events on a grand scale.  I want to take an ordinary evening, spend it with extraordinary friends and encourage each other to do spectacular things. One moment at a time. One breath of prayer. One verse of courage. Many hugs, tears and belly laughs.
What do you do to make ordinary moments seem not so ordinary?

Always,


Hope