How Do Our Ancestor's Actions Affect Us?

I was a young teen when one of the most watched mini-series hit television and for my younger readers, there is no way to explain the phenomena that was Alex Haley's "Roots: The Saga of an American Family". America was glued nightly to the story of young Kunta Kinte as he began his pilgrimage as a slave and the generations to follow who passed down his story to future great grandchildren.

The interest into genealogy exploded. My father even traveled across the country, visiting elderly relatives, touring city halls and a cemetery or two to investigate where our family came from. Other cousins banded together, sharing copies of photos and records and making books detailing our past. Family members on both my maternal and paternal sides are traced back about as far as they can go. The Coffee Guy's side is different.

The past couple of weeks we have been enjoying watching a new show on Friday nights titled "Who Do You Think You Are?" We thought we would check out the first part and then have found ourselves glued to the stories peoples lives. We watched them learn things about their family that some never would have guessed they could be connected to. There are stories of horror and of hope but all ending in relationship.

Last week, at the end of the show, the Coffee Guy turns to me and says "I really wish I knew more about my family". I grabbed my nearby laptop, signed on to a genealogy website and began the search. After going nowhere fast, we headed upstairs where I kept the funeral books for both his Mom and Dad. We searched for clues to lead us to a starting point and began journey to find out more about the family we never knew.

CG was born into a family that had already experienced divorce. It was the late 1950s and it just wasn't acceptable. After his losing his father at the age of six, his mother married three times and divorced three times. Like so many families, there were secrets that damaged and destroyed relationships. We have a couple of letters and cards that were sent the week my mother in law passed away, little before and nothing after that.  All ties to family were lost, until this week. We knew we have connections on his mother's side in Texas and his father's side in Virgina. Now we have names and we hope to start making connections. We'll see how that goes.

So if you have read even two of my posts you know that I am always trying to find the lesson in life. This is no different. What is there to learn about family connections and how they become broken, separating family? How do people start their own lives apart from their family? Of course there will always be folks that will become distant, get involved in their own circle or won't be as good as communicating as others will be. In this particular instance, there was a falling out. Nobody is really sure what happened, especially not forty years later but it happened. It was so foreign to me that people would just stop talking to each other. In our smaller circle, we weren't raised that way. If something went wrong you dealt with it, repaired the relationship and grew to love each other even more. I love what Romans 12:18 says about it! "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (NIV)

So here we are, on a new path, searching for connections, relationships and possibly answers. We may even find some closure to a painful past that will bring healing to our own hearts. Lessons from our ancestors about forgiveness and moving on.

Ask yourself, are you actions keeping your family together or tearing them apart? What kind of legacy are you creating for those you love?

Always,

Hope

Music and Memories

I adore music. I love to listen to a variety of styles. The music I enjoy most is the music that speaks to me. Some music invokes memories of a simpler time while others can bring on a twinge of melancholy without notice. Whenever "Blessed Be Your Name" is played I think of how I had requested that song for my Mom's memorial. Instead, "Blessed Be THE Name" was sang. After my initial shock and disappointment I opted to accept it for what it was. Now when I hear it I make it my own personal time of remembrance.
This morning my internet radio played "I'll Fly Away". It brought a chuckle as it took me back to another memorial service. Two weeks before my wedding, we held a memorial service for my brother who had passed away unexpectedly two days before. In the fog we were in, Dad picked a couple of songs off of a list to be played over the loud speakers. My brother and I broke into giggles as a completely hokey, fast paced version of an old favorite blared through the abbey. It was a reminder of two things, Glen was not a somber person and you should always listen to the version of a song before playing it in public. I'm sure many people assumed we planned it that way, we certainly did not but again, no regrets really.
"Day by Day" at one time took me back to middle school choir where we belted out the harmonies. This weekend it became something new as my Ray of Sunshyne was part of the local high school cast of Godspell! It was her last performance of her high school drama career. It's hard not to be reflective when your daughter is wearing the same skirt I purchased for a recital when she was just three years old but was so scared of the dance teacher (who needed badly to retire) that she refused to perform. There she was not only making use of the overpriced dance costume but also the years of practices, voice lessons, dance classes and drama courses. Now those songs will bring to mind the transition that she is making from her high school life to whatever the next big step of life will be.
We are looking forward to new experiences, exciting adventures and of course new music to build memories with as well as old songs to remind us of sweet times. Sometimes I think I have a soundtrack to my life with notes that help tell my story. Some of the notes are more memorable than others. At times they only speak to me and other times there are friends that sing along. I don't know what life would be without music but I'm happy that I don't have to find out.
What are some of the songs that take you back to a warm place in your heart? Was it played on the radio or something you sang yourself? What is the soundtrack of your life?

Always,

Hope


Here is a clip from Saturday's performance: